Permission To Be A Beginner: Why Growth Starts with Imperfect Action
- Mignon Joy
- Jun 12
- 4 min read
Have you ever stopped yourself from trying something because you were afraid you wouldn’t be good at it?
Maybe you’ve wanted to learn a new hobby, start a business, return to study, learn a creative skill, or make a change in your life. But somewhere along the way, a little voice whispered, “What if you’re terrible at it?”
Many of us forget a simple truth:
Every expert was once a beginner.
Yet as adults, we often expect ourselves to perform well from the very beginning. We can become so uncomfortable with not knowing, making mistakes, or looking inexperienced that we never give ourselves the opportunity to learn.
This month, I want to offer you something many of us desperately need:
Permission To Be A Beginner
My Unexpected Return to Gaming
Like everyone, I’ve had many beginnings throughout my life - not just in childhood, but as an adult too.
Recently, I started something completely new.
I have never really considered myself a gamer. Over the years I’ve played a few games here and there, usually during specific seasons of life. Many years ago, during a particularly stressful period, I would give myself permission to play Bejewelled for twenty minutes at the end of the day as a way to unwind.
But honestly, I haven’t played anything for years.
Then recently I came across some research discussing the benefits of video games for stress relief, cognitive flexibility, and overall wellbeing. Curious, I decided to add a little gaming into my self-care routine.
My son recommended a game called Nova Drift.
According to him, it matched some of the things I’d enjoyed in the past.
The setup seemed simple enough.
You pilot a little spaceship, avoid obstacles, shoot rocks and enemies, and survive as long as possible. There are only a couple of controls to learn and a handful of actions.
Easy, right?
Not exactly.
Most of the time, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
Sometimes simply keeping my little ship on the screen and preventing it from sliding around like a wet bar of soap feels like a major achievement. Pointing in the correct direction at the same time is often asking too much.
Then there are all the upgrades.
Weapons.
Shields.
Ship designs.
Special abilities.
I often stare at the choices wondering what any of them actually mean.
But something interesting has happened.
The more I play, the more I learn.
I’m beginning to recognise which upgrades suit my style. I’m getting slightly better at controlling my ship. I’ve even successfully avoided the random black hole that occasionally appears.
Once.
Which feels worthy of celebration.
Am I good at the game?
Absolutely not.
But I know something from experience:
The more I practise, the better I will become.
Why Being a Beginner Feels So Uncomfortable
When we’re children, being a beginner is expected.
Nobody expects a toddler to stand up and immediately run a marathon.
We celebrate every tiny step.
The first wobble.
The first step.
The first word.
The first attempt.
Yet somewhere along the way, many of us begin believing that mistakes are evidence of failure instead of evidence of learning.
As adults, we often expect ourselves to be competent immediately.
We want to start at chapter ten instead of chapter one.
We compare our first attempt with someone else’s years of experience.
And when our efforts don’t match our expectations, we become discouraged.
But growth doesn’t work that way.
Your Guardian Self Is Trying to Protect You
Many of us have an inner protective part - a guardian self - that wants to keep us safe from embarrassment, disappointment, criticism, or rejection.
When we consider trying something new, this protective part often sounds the alarm.
“What if you look foolish?”
“What if you fail?”
“What if you’re not good enough?”
Its intentions are usually positive.
It’s trying to keep us safe.
But sometimes we need to gently reassure that protective part of ourselves.
We can remind it:
“I don’t need to be brilliant on the first try.”
“It’s okay not to know.”
“I am allowed to learn.”
“I am safe to be a beginner.”
Remember Everything You Once Couldn’t Do
Whenever I become frustrated learning something new, I try to remember all the things I can do today that once seemed impossible.
There was a time I couldn’t walk.
There was a time I couldn’t tie my shoes.
There was a time I couldn’t drive a car.
Every skill I possess today began with confusion, mistakes, practice, and repetition.
No one is born knowing how to do everything.
We learn by doing.
We improve through experience.
We grow through repetition.
Shifting From Perfection to Experimentation
One of the biggest mindset shifts we can make is moving from perfection to experimentation.
Perfection asks:
“Can I do this perfectly?”
Experimentation asks:
“What can I learn from this?”
Perfection fears mistakes.
Experimentation welcomes feedback.
Perfection focuses on outcomes.
Experimentation focuses on growth.
When we approach new experiences with curiosity instead of judgement, mistakes become information rather than evidence of failure.
Every wrong turn teaches us something.
Every awkward attempt gives us data.
Every mistake becomes part of the learning process.
Celebrate Small Wins
We often reserve celebration for the finished product.
The completed course.
The successful launch.
The mastered skill.
The big achievement.
But what if we celebrated the small steps too?
Showing up.
Trying.
Practising.
Learning.
Persisting.
Getting back up after a setback.
The journey becomes much more enjoyable when we learn to find joy in progress rather than waiting for perfection.
Giving Yourself Grace to Grow
Growth requires space.
It requires patience.
It requires compassion.
Most importantly, it requires permission.
Permission to be messy.
Permission to make mistakes.
Permission to learn slowly.
Permission to ask questions.
Permission to be a beginner.
The next time you find yourself standing at the edge of something new, remember:
You do not need to be good at it yet.
You simply need to begin.
Because every skill you’ve ever mastered started with a first awkward attempt.
And who knows?
One day, the thing that currently feels impossible may become something you do without even thinking.
Just like walking.
Just like driving.
And maybe, one day, even avoiding black holes in Nova Drift.
Final Thoughts
If there’s something you’ve been wanting to try, consider this your official permission slip.
Start before you’re ready.
Start imperfectly.
Start awkwardly.
Start as a beginner.
Because growth doesn’t happen after you’ve mastered something.
Growth happens while you’re learning.
And every expert you admire was once exactly where you are now.
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